Particularly because of its approach to religion and intergenerational family life, The Girls Will Be Okay lends itself to deep, enriching group discussion. Here are discussion guides for four different types of groups: secular teen book clubs/class discussions, church youth groups, synagogue youth groups, and groups where parents and teens discuss the book together. Some of the questions are used in more than one discussion guide, but each guide has some questions that are unique to their specific situation.

Teen Book Club Discussion Guide

• Do you think Solveig and Heidi could have remained friends if Solveig had made different choices, or were they doomed from the start?
• Have you had a friendship like Solveig and Heidi’s? Do you see yourself as more in Solveig’s position or in Heidi’s? What’s the state of that friendship now? 
• Have you ever had a crush on a friend? Did you tell them about your feelings, or not? Does it feel risky to tell a friend you like them that way? 
• Have you ever dated someone you were close friends with before you started dating? How about someone you didn’t know very well before you started dating? How were those experiences similar or different? 
• Have you ever been made fun of for being queer, or because someone else thought you were queer? Have you seen that happen to someone else? What other factors have you been bullied for, or have you seen people get bullied for? 
• How do you feel about Solveig and Sarah’s decision to spend time at Sarah’s house when no adults were home, even though they weren’t supposed to? Does it matter what they did while they were home alone? 
• What do you think is the biggest mistake Solveig makes in the book? Did it make you stop liking her as a character? Did you see where she was coming from?
• If you have siblings, does your relationship feel more like Solveig and Berit’s at the beginning of the book, Solveig and Berit’s at the end of the book, Solveig and Maiken’s, Berit and Maiken’s, or something else? Do you think your relationship with your sibling(s) is likely to change as you get older, and if so, how and why? 
• How much do you think Solveig and Berit’s strained relationship at the beginning of the book has to do with Solveig’s response to their mother’s death? Have you seen people in your life react to grief and loss in ways that affect their relationships with the people around them? 
• How did you feel about the way Solveig’s family, Sarah’s family, and Solveig’s cousins all lived out their different cultural heritage? Is cultural heritage important to you and your family, or is it something you don’t think about much? Have you seen this kind of cultural engagement in a lot of other media? Did you learn anything about Norwegian, Tamil, Jewish, or Lutheran culture while reading the book? 
• Have you had close friends from different religious backgrounds than you? Are there ways that those differences feel hard to navigate? Are there ways that it feels rewarding to navigate and understand those differences? 
• Have you ever loved a show, book, or movie as much as Solveig, Sarah, and Heidi love The Detective Collective? 
• If you were Berit, would you have offered to accompany Solveig and Sarah at the senior recital? If you were Solveig, would you have trusted Berit enough to say yes?

To get an easily printable version of this discussion guide, go here.

Church Youth Group Discussion Guide

• Do you think Solveig and Heidi could have remained friends if Solveig had made different choices, or were they doomed from the start?
• Have you had a friendship like Solveig and Heidi’s? Do you see yourself as more in Solveig’s position or in Heidi’s? What’s the state of that friendship now? 
• Do you feel like Solveig’s church is similar to your church? Have you seen this kind of church represented in other books or movies? Do you think it matters how religion is portrayed in popular culture? Do you think the way Christianity is portrayed in popular culture matches with your experience of it? 
• Have you ever had a crush on a friend? Did you tell them about your feelings, or not? Does it feel risky to tell a friend you like them that way? 
• Have you ever dated someone you were close friends with before you started dating? How about someone you didn’t know very well before you started dating? How were those experiences similar or different? 
• Have you ever been made fun of for being queer, or because someone else thought you were queer? Have you seen that happen to someone else? What other factors have you been bullied for, or have you seen people get bullied for? 
• What does your church teach about queerness? How do you know? Would a visitor to your church be able to find out easily? If you were a queer Christian thinking about visiting a new church for the first time, what information would you want to have available before you set foot inside the building?
• Have you heard other Christians condemn queerness the way Bestemor does? What responses do you have to those attitudes? 
• How do you feel about Solveig and Sarah’s decision to spend time at Sarah’s house when no adults were home, even though they weren’t supposed to? Does it matter what they did while they were home alone? 
• What do you think is the biggest mistake Solveig makes in the book? Did it make you stop liking her as a character? Did you see where she was coming from?
• If you have siblings, does your relationship feel more like Solveig and Berit’s at the beginning of the book, Solveig and Berit’s at the end of the book, Solveig and Maiken’s, Berit and Maiken’s, or something else? Do you think your relationship with your sibling(s) is likely to change as you get older, and if so, how and why? 
• How much do you think Solveig and Berit’s strained relationship at the beginning of the book has to do with Solveig’s response to their mother’s death? Have you seen people in your life react to grief and loss in ways that affect their relationships with the people around them? 
• How did you feel about the way Solveig’s family, Sarah’s family, and Solveig’s cousins all lived out their different cultural heritage? Is cultural heritage important to you and your family, or is it something you don’t think about much? Have you seen this kind of cultural engagement in a lot of other media? Did you learn anything about Norwegian, Tamil, or Jewish culture while reading the book? 
• Have you had close friends from different religious backgrounds than you? Are there ways that those differences feel hard to navigate? Are there ways that it feels rewarding to navigate and understand those differences? 
• Have you ever loved a show, book, or movie as much as Solveig, Sarah, and Heidi love The Detective Collective? 
• If you were Berit, would you have offered to accompany Solveig and Sarah at the senior recital? If you were Solveig, would you have trusted Berit enough to say yes?
• Has grief ever changed your faith? Does Solveig’s relationship with church and faith make sense to you given that her mother was also her pastor?

To get an easily printable version of this discussion guide, go here.

Synagogue Youth Group Discussion Guide

• Do you think Solveig and Heidi could have remained friends if Solveig had made different choices, or were they doomed from the start?
• Have you had a friendship like Solveig and Heidi’s? Do you see yourself as more in Solveig’s position or in Heidi’s? What’s the state of that friendship now? 
• Does the way Sarah lives out her Judaism, from what you can see in the book, line up with the way you live out your Judaism? What are the similarities and differences? For those of you who have one Jewish parent and one non-Jewish parent, were Sarah’s experiences and frustrations familiar, or are yours different than hers? 
• This book explores both Christianity and Judaism. Have you seen similar depictions of these religions in other books, movies, or shows, or do you think this book was doing something different? Do you think it matters how religion is represented in pop culture? 
• Have you ever had a crush on a friend? Did you tell them about your feelings, or not? Does it feel risky to tell a friend you like them that way? 
• Have you ever dated someone you were close friends with before you started dating? How about someone you didn’t know very well before you started dating? How were those experiences similar or different? 
• Have you ever been made fun of for being queer, or because someone else thought you were queer? Have you seen that happen to someone else? What other factors have you been bullied for, or have you seen people get bullied for? 
• What does your synagogue teach about queerness? How do you know? Would a visitor to your synagogue be able to find out? If you were a queer Jew considering visiting a new synagogue, what information would you want to find before setting foot in the building? 
• How do you feel about Solveig and Sarah’s decision to spend time at Sarah’s house when no adults were home, even though they weren’t supposed to? Does it matter what they did while they were home alone? 
• What do you think is the biggest mistake Solveig makes in the book? Did it make you stop liking her as a character? Did you see where she was coming from?
• If you have siblings, does your relationship feel more like Solveig and Berit’s at the beginning of the book, Solveig and Berit’s at the end of the book, Solveig and Maiken’s, Berit and Maiken’s, or something else? Do you think your relationship with your sibling(s) is likely to change as you get older, and if so, how and why? 
• How much do you think Solveig and Berit’s strained relationship at the beginning of the book has to do with Solveig’s response to their mother’s death? Have you seen people in your life react to grief and loss in ways that affect their relationships with the people around them? 
• How did you feel about the way Solveig’s family, Sarah’s family, and Solveig’s cousins all lived out their different cultural heritage? Is cultural heritage important to you and your family, or is it something you don’t think about much? Have you seen this kind of cultural engagement in a lot of other media? Did you learn anything about Norwegian, Tamil, or Lutheran culture while reading the book? 
• What are the most rewarding parts of interfaith friendships? What are the hardest parts? 
• Have you ever loved a show, book, or movie as much as Solveig, Sarah, and Heidi love The Detective Collective? 
• If you were Berit, would you have offered to accompany Solveig and Sarah at the senior recital? If you were Solveig, would you have trusted Berit enough to say yes?

To get an easily printable version of this discussion guide, go here.

Parent-Teen Discussion Guide

• Parents, how do you feel about the way Peter tried to balance supporting Solveig while still expecting Solveig to be respectful of her elders? Kids, what do you think of those answers? Do you think it’s fair to expect Solveig to be respectful to Bestemor when Bestemor is being openly disrespectful to Solveig? 
• Kids, how do you feel about Solveig and Sarah’s decision to spend time at Sarah’s house when no adults were home, even though they weren’t supposed to? Does it matter what they did while they were home alone? Parents, how do you decide whether your rules are fair and make sense for the situation? 
• Parents, what lessons did you learn about queerness when you were growing up, either from religious leaders, from your family, or from popular culture? How have your views changed over the years? What caused them to change? Kids, is anything you’re hearing surprising? 
• Kids, how do you feel like your experiences of religion compare to Solveig’s or Sarah’s? Parents, what experiences of religion were you hoping to provide for your kids, and do you think you’ve succeeded in that? 
• Everyone, what do you think is the biggest mistake Solveig makes in the book? Did it make you stop liking her as a character? Did you see where she was coming from?
• Everyone, if you have siblings, does your relationship feel more like Solveig and Berit’s at the beginning of the book, Solveig and Berit’s at the end of the book, Solveig and Maiken’s, Berit and Maiken’s, or something else? Do you think your relationship with your sibling(s) is likely to change as you get older? 
• Everyone, how much do you think Solveig and Berit’s strained relationship at the beginning of the book has to do with Solveig’s response to their mother’s death? Have you seen people in your life react to grief and loss in ways that affect their relationships with the people around them? 
• Everyone, how did you feel about the way Solveig’s family, Sarah’s family, and Solveig’s cousins all lived out their different cultural heritage? Is cultural heritage important to you and your family, or is it something you don’t think about much? Have you seen this kind of cultural engagement in a lot of other media? Did you learn anything about Norwegian, Tamil, Jewish, or Lutheran culture while reading the book? 
• Everyone, have you had close friends from different religious backgrounds than you? Are there ways that those differences feel hard to navigate? Are there ways that it feels rewarding to navigate and understand those differences?

To get an easily printable version of this discussion guide, go here.

And remember to order as many copies of The Girls Will Be Okay as you need for your group!